5 Tips for Managing Emotional Stress in College
Freshman year of college is without a doubt one of the biggest transitions that you’ll undergo in your life. When I started college in the fall of 2019, I was terrified. The idea of leaving behind my family and my home to start at a university 600 miles away didn’t even feel real until I watched my parents drive away. As I sat in my dorm and unpacked the rest of my belongings, it became clear to me that I had just left the nest; something nothing can ever truly prepare you for. Before my parents left me in my dorm, the stress I had known was academic and athletic, but this was different. With my parents gone, I no longer had my emotional support system in place. I had never thought about my response to losing access to my parents; I was completely unprepared for the emotional stress. By its very nature, college invites emotional stress. Essentially every aspect of your life changes, and it's important to recognize that the stress is normal and will eventually go away. Until then, here are a few tips I picked up from dealing with emotional stress my freshman year.
Failure (to an extent) is normal. If there isn’t a learning curve, then you’re not learning! I struggled a lot my first semester before figuring out my structure and routine because I didn’t fully understand what was expected of me or how to deliver. It’s the first semester in college -- you’re living away from your parents for the first time, making new friends, and adapting to higher level academics as well as new schedules and expectations. Of course you’re going to fail at first - just make sure to have grace with yourself. It’s first semester freshman year; nobody expects perfection.
Imposter syndrome: it’s real! Know how to recognize it and fight it. Make sure you are comfortable in your place at school. Be confident in your own self worth - remember, you belong at your university. Believe me, as a student-athlete, I’ve often felt like my admission is a farce, or that I’m a second-class student because my application was processed early. Just remember: the admissions department doesn’t make mistakes. You are a valuable addition to the college community -- don’t sell yourself short.
Don’t compare yourself to your peers. You’re going to feel like the people around you are more comfortable, more successful, more pulled together than you are. They all have it figured out, right? Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. Your wellbeing is more important than your interpretation of how well your classmates are doing. Focus on yourself before looking over at your peers. If you try to compare yourself to your classmates, you’re going to be comparing yourself to the superficial interpretation you have of their success. That five minute conversation with John Smith where he bragged about how easy he thought the final was isn’t a reflection of reality; most students project success while feeling entirely overwhelmed and exhausted. Who knows? Maybe you have even unconsciously projected confidence to someone else while feeling terrible. Likelihood is the majority of your peers feel just as lost and confused as you do. Don’t sweat it.
Ask for help. Starting off freshman year I wasn’t only afraid of asking for help, but I didn’t even know how. In high school I had never reached a point where I was so overwhelmed I needed an additional support system. If I ever came close to a breaking point I had my parents to fall back on, as well as a built in support system made up by teachers, administrators, and a school system policy that allowed students to retake every exam again until they achieve a passing grade. Ironically enough, the support systems in high school that are designed to push students toward college can prevent students from learning how to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help -- it can be for anything; academic challenges, mental health, emotional support, or even physical help. It’s always okay to ask for help -- universities want you to ask and have systems put in place to help you!
Create a network of people you trust to help you. Asking for help is scary, but being surrounded by people who will advocate for you is vital. Your friends and mentors are the people who will support you through failed exams and difficult classes. You’re leaving your family at home, but you can create a new one in college. It takes time to build a support network, but it is entirely worth it. There is so much change and stress at university -- having a group of people who understand your stress is incredibly important. They are the people who will have your back no matter what.
Hopefully, your biggest takeaway is that it’s okay not to be perfect. The transition into freshman year can be scary, but there is progress in transition. Failure and growth walk hand in hand -- being confident in yourself and in your place is crucial while you navigate the beginning of your freshman year. The people around you are open and eager to help -- don’t be afraid to ask for help. Soon enough, it will be you who is in the position to turn around and help those who come behind you!
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